Lately, I don’t even know what I’m feeling. My emotions swirl around inside my body like a black blob leaving me tired, restless, agitated, angry and in a prolonged state of unease. I guess I do have an idea of what I’m feeling. It’s just too much at one time. The black blob is outside my body too and fills the space with a heaviness that is pushing against all who are in its midst. I know I’m not alone in trying to deal with this collection of hard feelings that come at me all at once. I recognize the turmoil in many of the faces around me.

It may be time to take apart this black blob and really look at what makes up its being. It’s just not fun. We spend so much time trying not to look at those emotions that are hard to feel or make us uncomfortable. We anesthetize ourselves with faulty thinking and use things or do things to keep us numb and avoidant from seeing the truth. Picking apart our emotional chaos and putting it under a microscope is hard work and does not come naturally. We are a species that works very hard to avoid pain even though pain usually has taught us something in the past. So, if we want this black blob to stop hanging around, we have to dismantle it and name all its pieces to try and figure out what’s going on. It’s easier to deal with something difficult when we know what we’re dealing with by looking at all its parts. That’s how we strip the black blob of its power.

Start by looking at your blob of emotion and start naming what’s there, what you’re feeling. Is it sadness, fear, anger, joy, disgust, love and/or grief? Start by identifying just one emotion – name it. Next, describe exactly what you’re feeling. Go crazy with your list of adjectives. It helps. Finally, try to understand why you are feeling the way you’re feeling. Why is this feeling there? What happened that might have led to this feeling? Is there a story around this feeling that I need to think about? Take the time to pause, think and decide how to take care of yourself as you work through what’s going on. This is a way you can take control of what you’re feeling and give yourself the time to think about how you will handle it. Taking time to analyze your feelings helps you make sense of your experiences and work with them. This is self-care at its finest and is equal in value to the air we breath and the water we drink. Honor yourself enough to learn about how your feelings influence your life, the lives of others and whether or not to do something about it.

I know there are emotions in your blob that are way less painful than others. Some are supportive in reminding us to be grateful and appreciative. It just may be hard to see them right now. Seek them out and look at them under the same microscope you used before to identify the hard emotions – name them, describe them and understand their stories. They will speak to you of joy, optimism, love, acceptance, courage, awe and trust. This list could go on. These feelings will work with you to dismantle the black blob piece by piece and encourage you to start rolling up your sleeves and get to work. These feelings remind you that you have everything you need to exercise some control on those days when you believe you have none. They fall under the umbrella of hope which is the rocket fuel you’ll need to work through hard feelings and their sources. Hope has already woven itself into your story because you are here. Have a conversation with hope about how the two of you are going to depend on each other to take back some control, develop some self-awareness and support those around you. Black blobs beware.

Questions/activities to ponder or good journal prompts!

1. Does the “black blob” create an image in your mind that makes sense? Why or why not?
2. What part of your “black blob” is hard to look at? Are there emotions present that are creating uncomfortable feelings and angst? Why?
3. What do you do to keep yourself from looking at stuff that may be painful? How do you “anesthetize” what you are feeling?
4. Is it hard to name, describe and understand what you are feeling? Being present and practicing this process usually helps. How does becoming more adept at this process help with self-awareness and self-care?
5. All feelings teach us something whether they evoke pain, pleasure or something in between. Do you believe this? Why or why not? What have you learned?