I was with my daughter on the day women lost their constitutional right to govern their own bodies. My 26 year-old daughter looked at me and said, “Look what your generation has done to the lives of all the young people in this country. Everyone has guns, mass shootings are the regular, the planet is dying and now women have no freedom when it comes to our bodies. All this brought about by people claiming to be Christians. It’s why my generation wants nothing to do with the Christian church and religion.” She saw the pain on my face as I felt her losses and the losses experienced by so many people in our country, yet again. It’s too much to hold sometimes – all this oppression and violence, particularly geared towards the marginalized people in our country, brought about by a group of people fearful of losing their power-over status. My face must have moved her to say, “Let me be clear, mom. I know it’s not you.”

So, let me be clear about Jesus. The folks who call themselves Christians and refuse to do anything to address the gun violence in our country, end oppression in any form or do anything about the poor stewardship of our planet, are worshipping a Jesus I know nothing about. The Jesus I know never said, “You know what we need to fix this? More guns! In fact, let’s give them to teachers” or “Screw the poor and oppressed and forget about their history of bondage and trying to make it right” or “Only people who are straight are invited to this table” or how about, “Who gives a shit about the planet?” The Jesus I know abhorred violence, injustice in any form, shared really well, found beauty in the natural world and talked a lot about love. The Jesus I worship implored his followers to look for the source of the cancer, the inequality in the overall system, address the pain it’s causing and tried his best to teach us how we can harness love for ourselves and each other to get us to a better place. It’s gooey but it’s solidly the Jesus way, the Christian way. Period. So let’s be clear, not all Christians are promoters of violence, greed and keeping their power-over model. Daughter, they are not part of the Jesus party that I attend or took you to attend as a kid.

I’m working hard to use my anger in a way that propels me to see where we go from here and what to do while keeping a tight death grip on hope. I know that things need to break before we rebuild as this is the order of things in the natural world and typically how meaningful change occurs in our human experience. It’s just devastating to know that the breaking includes the shattering of lives, truly at the hands of a few, until real change occurs and it takes time. So what do those who work towards justice using the Jesus model do? They start conversations with people they don’t understand, they work hard to push out love, they invite everyone to the table, they work hard to support those who need it, they fall, they dance and they feel everything because Jesus felt everything. He got mad, he got tired and he wept. Jesus celebrated too. He showed up at festivities with vats of wine because he knew the importance of fostering joy as a ways to connect with him, each other and recharge for whatever comes next. And he kept on going standing behind the same message until he was nailed to the cross. Love one another.

So daughter, history has shown us that there will always be those who use the title of Christianity to promote oppression, racism, homophobia, sexism, inequality and the destruction of this beautiful earth. There will always be people that will justify taking away the rights of others and even killing all in the name of Jesus. These same people will always take things out of context when referencing the bible, not critically think about the culture during Jesus’s time and pick and choose biblical verses that suit them so they maintain their power. You’re smarter than that and have way too much love for people, all people. You’ve been blessed to travel this world to know that fixing all this starts with realizing that we all want the same thing and denying those basic rights from others is not the Jesus way. I’m scared and you’re scared but the Christians who know nothing about Jesus are scared too. They’re afraid to leave their bubble, step out of their comfort zone, lose their power-over, invite new perspectives and will not accept that change is an opportunity to become better at something and going to happen whether they like it or not. They’re not buying into the Jesus model of promoting justice for all because that would mean they’d be forced to see the God in everyone and do things like care, share and sacrifice for love. I don’t discount how hard that is because I see that shadow side in me. I know how hard it can be to see God in all of them too but I won’t stop trying.

Loving some people is freakin’ hard. Jesus didn’t have an easy time with that either and told us to do it anyway. But do not give up on all the things that Jesus stood for – especially your spiritual life because of the actions of a few who use the word Christian for political gain. You and all your friends have the power to find a spiritual home where love is first on the list whether it be a temple, a mosque, a church or a gathering in the park where a collection of caring humans work together to find a better way for all of us and not give up. Even when you all don’t agree. Don’t let those who oppress others, steal hope from you, your friends or anyone who fights for justice. The creative nature of youth will serve you well and allow you to creatively serve one another. You all will find a way.

And let’s be clear about some important stuff to remember and keep us going. The work is grueling and change is often incrementally small. It often looks like the three steps forward one step back situation which allows you to get somewhere as long as you don’t stop. Not all men are here to promote the patriarchy. In fact many are working to dismember it and have been standing with women now more than they ever have. Moved-to-make-a-difference people have not exited the planet. In fact, I’ve seen the anger of those committed to causes that work to eradicate injustice kickstart some movements or reignite some movements that are oldies but goodies that may bring about meaningful change. The educational levels of women are surpassing that of men and this is great news. We need more intelligence and critical thinking in this world topped off with a dose of female wisdom which tends to lean more towards the “power-with” model. Kindness and love for others is still alive and kicking. Just keep your eyes open for it. Honor and learn from those who know all about oppression and still remain standing as they work for justice and see how far they’ve come and how far they have to go. Stand with them please. Oh and let’s scare the shit out of the oppressors – become more civically engaged and vote in every election. Not just for you and me but for the love of others and all that is good. Vote like Jesus would.