Part of being a human is dealing with the hard parts of being human. There are times when the Band-Aid we apply to our emotional wound is just what we need to stop the bleeding. There are times when the Band-Aid laughs in our face, because it knows a tiny bit of gauze won’t do when a tourniquet is needed. The thing is, humans are responsible for figuring out what they need to help stop the bleeding and ease the pain. You do that by taking the time to listen to your own knowing. It’s helpful to talk to others about what works for them in their moments of trial, but it’s necessary to check in with yourself too and talk openly and honestly to see what’s going on. Understanding what helps in your healing means taking the time to know what salve to apply, what treatment to undertake and how much time you need to foster your own healing. Believing that you are worthy of that time and attention is where you have to start. We spend our time and energy on those things we deem valuable even when some of those things clearly do more harm for us than good. Look at what you use to cope and be sure it falls under the healing category and not the hurting category. Look at where you invest your time. Look at what you polish and shine. And make sure that you are a major recipient of those healing things, time, polish and shine. When you regularly practice caring for and loving every part of your own humanity, you will come to learn your own value and have a much easier time seeing it in others. You’ll start to just know with every bone in your body, that you deserve loving attention and time to heal just for being born. That is the birthright of every human being that graces this planet and no matter what, you will always be worthy of that promise.

When we’re physically wounded, we tend to give ourselves more understanding and time to recover. When our emotional wounds cause our suffering, our patience and understanding isn’t always what it should be considering our brokenness. The struggle for recovery from the things that hurt us emotionally is very, very real. Speeding through that healing and not taking the time to fully heal, may lessen the pain, but not move you into full recovery. You just go into remission. Physical and emotional healing is a step-by-step process. It requires grit and traveling to a place where you lay it all out and keep it very real. Sometimes it’s healing, then setback, followed by the same pattern until the bones knit back together or the soul stops aching when the wind blows. Humans in pain want to end the pain, because of how much it hurts. That makes sense. But, to recover from pain, you’ve got to listen to what your humanity is telling you to do, not what you’ve been conditioned to do. Being a human-doer to avoid, gloss over or quickly move through a process of healing may, at its best, only bring on remission. Allowing yourself to be a human being promotes a more complete healing step by painful step. In your human being-ness, you honor the time you need, the treatment you require and you take the pill of self-compassion as needed.

Being intentional in your search for respite when you need it, will sustain your recovery. Practicing strategies like pushing away negative thoughts and behaviors with positive thoughts and actions is one way to help keep you on track. Making time to meditate as a form of respite and learning may also help too. When you check your heart rate, just check your soul rate as well. We have all kinds of gadgets and gizmos that tell us how hard we’re working physically and help us monitor when to push and when to ease back. Doesn’t your emotional and spiritual health deserve some monitoring too? Put your hands on your heart, take some slow deep breaths and feel. That’s how you check your soul rate. Taking the time to monitor your human being-ness is how you check in to see and feel how hard you are working and when to push and when to ease back. Be honest with yourself. If you believe in the readings you receive from your physical health monitors, then by all means believe in what your soul is registering too. You may not like what it says all the time, but answers and healing abound if you take the time to look at it and listen. Let go of what you believe your healing timeline and progress should be and focus on what could be. You need patience, not pressure. You need hopefulness, not negativity. You need mercy, not judgement. You need self-love, not self-loathing. You need every part of your humanity to love, heal and grow to become all you’re meant to be, so do it in a way that benefits all of you. Value your human being-ness and give it the time, attention and love it deserves no matter how messy it gets. Bandage your soul with what you know it needs, so when it’s time to shine again, they’ll be nothing holding you back.

Questions/activities to ponder or good journal prompts!

1. Are you aware of those things that you need to foster your own healing? Why or why not?
2. Deserving love and attention is your birthright. What gets in the way of honoring that?
3. Do you allow yourself more time/struggle to heal from physical wounds than emotional wounds? Why/why not?
4. What’s the difference between always being a human-doer instead of a human-being?
5. When do you fall into that space of “what should be” concerning your efforts or accomplishments? Does it add to or negate your efforts?