Category: personal empowerment

The lost and found.

The lost and found.

by kimberly gruber ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

I spend a lot of time in the Lost and Found Department. I’m usually looking for answers, guidance or clues to satisfy a moment of curiosity or searching for my light of truth to help me find my way. Again. Some answers are easily found and others will never be answered in this lifetime. Sometimes I show up at the Lost and Found looking for myself. Again. How do I get so lost from myself and who I really am? How did my self-awareness get buried in the pile of shit found in the beat up boxes of items easily brushed aside? What I know for sure is that when I get lost from me, it’s usually an incrementally slow, sneaky fall away from myself. I’m always a child of God and that remains steadfast and true. But, the spokes that radiate out from that love are the things I uniquely bring to this world – the me. I’m responsible for working to keep those spokes of special in tact and shining brightly for the common good. My self-awareness is my guidepost and compass. That means it’s a pretty important tool for my life’s journey. That’s why I’ll show up at the Lost and Found desperate and determined to dig through the box until I find my me and start again.

Keeping me tucked safely away by my side is a daily effort. The ways of this world often make keeping close to who I am tricky. Self-awareness means being present and aware. I have to notice, discern and handle what I see, hear and feel. I have to trust that I can figure things out by looking inward while not losing sight of what’s going on around me. I’m always learning and try my best to lead with my learning and my knowing. But, sometimes that’s hard because the world often defines me in ways that are external and limiting and it can skew my thinking. Usually I’m on to them. Most of the time. Sometimes, I’m just tired of it all and I need to get quiet, rest and wait for me to return. It’s always internal work, hard work and up to me alone to keep it real. I have to look where I spend my time. I have to be aware of where I gather my worth. If it’s on my phone comparing and contrasting my external with another, I’m looking for myself in the wrong place. My self-awareness comes from holding my value and my limitations in my hands at the same time and noticing, discerning and handling what I see in me with dignity, compassion and grace. That’s how I stay true to me.

I look to my fear when I lose who I am. Fear is a cloud that hides my light and truth. Asking myself what I’d do in that moment if I didn’t have that fear, literally lets my colors shine and there I am. It doesn’t mean I have no more fear. It just means that fear is not who I am and I’ll fight hard to not let it keep me from myself or run my life. I work hard to see who’s driving – me or something else- and fight to stay behind the wheel despite my fear or what I believe the world would have me do. I may need to pull over once in a while to catch my breath, hang on, become aware and stay true to me. My me will always tell me to focus on my inner strength and creativity because she knows focusing on what I cannot control will only prolong the pain. Shit gets real sometimes. I just want to make sure the life I’m living is the life that is meant for me. Becoming an expert on anything takes time and includes a lot of blood, sweat, tears and mistakes. My me is ready. She does her best to stick by me like glue even when I run off in the wrong direction. Fortunately, we always meet up in the Lost and Found and I dig for her and take her home. Tomorrow is another day, another try and another opportunity to put my me on full display and watch her do her thing.

Questions/activities to ponder or good journal prompts!

  1. How do you know when you’ve lost your “me”?
  2. Think of a moment when you were fully being led by your “me”. How did that feel and what did you notice?
  3. How does the world keep you from your “me” and limit your ability to shine?
  4. Self comparison can erode how you feel about yourself. Why? How does it hinder the internal work we all need to do to find our “me”.
  5. What would your life look life if you let go of your fear of ________? (failure, concern over what others think, doing uncomfortable etc.)
Thank you.

Thank you.

by kimberly gruber ♥ 2 Comments

In my line of work, I spend a lot of time reminding folks that they have worth just for being born. Period. What moves us away from that knowing are the messages and experiences we encounter that make it hard to see that truth. That light of truth gets covered by blankets of darkness made up of lies and pain caused by hurt and trauma. I’m a witness and guide for people trying to find their way back to their light. It gets hard to watch someone navigate their way through the thorny and painful barriers that keep them away from the most valuable thing inside them – self love. But, it’s the only way to untangle and cut through the vines. I’ll stay witness to their solo endeavor and support them in their search for their truth. I’ll hear them and see them as they bravely claw through this pain and try their best to make it back to who they really are. I’ll remind these searchers of their courage, grit and strength proven factual because they’re sitting before me and asking for help. As they scrape, scrap and dig bare-handed to uncover their light, I’ll remind them of another fact too- they can do terrifically, hard things because they’ve done it before and here they stand. And I thank them for allowing me to stand beside them and offer me a bird’s eye view of what the human spirit can accomplish in the name of love.

I roll in the joy that pours from a seeker’s body when they’ve found their way home and back to their light. The air in the room changes because heaven celebrates at that very moment too. The frequency created by the love that rains from the sky cannot be contained and the room tingles with truth and possibility. I’m always filled with gratitude when I witness this rebirth and another’s brave attempt to try again a little smarter and a little wiser gleaned only through hard work and struggle. I’m filled with a million thank-yous for the opportunity to see an awakening and watch someone start again. It’s a reminder to us both to hold on tightly to our light of truth because our lives depend on it. That light is the most important compass and lantern we’ll ever own to keep us from getting lost from ourselves again.

Staying close to your truth is a life-long endeavor and you have to pay attention. It can be tricky sometimes. It means that you do your best to stay aware and on guard in terms of what you let in and accept and what you put out. So, how do we stay close to our truth? By reminding ourselves of who we really are and doing so a lot. What follows the word “I” matters. If they’re words that remind you of your gifts and create a sense of purpose, keep on saying them! If they’re anything close to affirming that no matter what mistakes you make, you still have value and will always be a beloved child of God, then repeat them daily. If they’re words of encouragement, honor and self-compassion, then say them often to help you hold on when needed. And when words of kindness and love are spoken to you from another, drink them up with humbleness and gratitude. Pushing away heart-felt words of appreciation for who you are is not being humble, it just means you need to work on becoming more comfortable holding your truth in your hands. So, just say “Thanks.” Because, when you just say “Thanks”, you acknowledge who you are, the good you’ve done and it keeps you going. Remembering all the wonderful things you have the potential to do in the everyday moments will always keep you close to your light. And living out your truth will always be enough to keep that light shining. So, “Thanks!” for being you and doing the best you can to make this world brighter and your life more meaningful by sticking by your own light and fighting to never let it go.

Questions/activities to ponder or good journal prompts!

  1. What did it require of you to seek out your truth when you were removed from it?
  2. What keeps you from noticing all you are capable of doing?
  3. When have you experienced a shift in the “frequency” of a room based on the experience playing out in that room?
  4. When you witness someone else rebuild their life and find their light again how does that affect you and why?
  5. Saying “Thanks” indicates acknowledgment and appreciation. Why do we sometimes deflect or push away the heart-felt compliments of another?
On being positive.

On being positive.

by kimberly gruber ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

My mind often carries a lot of thoughts, ideas, feelings and worries that bounce around my head. I remember a yoga teacher talking about monkey mind and feeling affirmed that I now had a name for what so aptly suits what I experience sometimes. A monkey jumping around my head (usually there’s more than one monkey) and trying to track its movement slays my ability to focus. I do my best to take control of these monkeys. I envision pouring them into a funnel that sorts them by what I need right here, right now. Reciting “right here, right now” also helps calm these rascals into a more sedentary state. It’s my way of trying to stay mindful and focused on what is in front of me. It helps me prioritize what’s important, notice, process and help me handle what’s right before my eyes in the present moment. I can narrow my field of vision or expand it based on my assessment of what’s going on inside me, outside me and try to do the best I can to handle or enjoy whatever I’m feeling. To me, that’s exercising self-care, self-love and self-compassion all rolled together as one.

Sometimes the thoughts or feelings that I hold are heavy, painful and scary. I’m not a fan of staying “right here, right now” with tough feelings. But, despite the discomfort, I know I have to experience what is before me to build resilience and learn even when the struggle is very real. All feelings, whether easy or hard to handle, have value. I don’t have to like what I’m feeling, but I have to hold it anyway. I have to let this feeling move through me to teach me that I’m capable. When I do that, I’m reminded that tough things pass and I can pick myself up after the battle. I develop a first-hand experience of what it’s like to feel capable and positive about my abilities and the world around me. That type of positivity is different from the type that tells me to just push tough feelings away with positive feelings that I’m not experiencing at the time. Feeling truly positive isn’t developed by drowning myself in upbeat sentiments that I don’t feel and it isn’t developed by well-intending folks reminding me to appreciate all I’ve got. In fact, a lot of times it just makes me feel guilty or ashamed that I can’t shake my blues. A tough feeling is going to hang around until I work through it by acknowledging and handling uncomfortable. I know from walking through the trenches before that I will come out the other side. I know hard feelings don’t last, but when in those trenches, “thinking positively” is not what I need. I need to be reminded to buckle up and hold on. I need to acknowledge my struggle and carry a smidgen of hope at the same time. I need to focus on taking the next step, because that is my reality in the “right here, right now”. I don’t need to come down hard on myself for not feeling positive or grateful during my struggle. Optimism will come later when I emerge from the ashes battered but knowing that rising is part of my DNA. All I’ve learned and all I’ve endured allow me to feel truly positive that things will be okay because I’ve made it out okay before. I can be positive with others by reminding them that tough feelings pass only because I’ve stayed with struggle and seen it to be true. I’ll see you, hear you and tell you to hold on and that’s how we’ll both put more positivity into this world. I won’t force you to feel, I’ll encourage you to grip tightly and let you feel.

I hold on, close my eyes and breath even when its hard to catch my breath. I keep breathing because its all I can do right now. And that’s ok. It’s all I can do when monkeys are bouncing around my head or when I carry a bag of bricks called fear, worry, sadness or regret. But when I can, I try to remember what happens when I fall into whatever I’m feeling that’s hard to hold – that I can make it through. And when I fall into joy, gratitude, happiness and contentment, I’m reminded of how precious those moments truly are and feel grateful. I can’t force a feeling, I can only recognize what’s going on in me and feel it. And that’s all I have to do each and every moment of my life. I feel positive when I notice and remember that every detail of my journey matters because it builds the best version of me. That type of positivity is what carries me and keeps my fingers gripped tightly to the wheel when I’m just about ready to let go. I’m reminded after that hair-raising or weary experience of how strong I really am. All the feelings that come from that experience dance around in my head and make their way down the funnel. What drips out of the spout is hope and positivity. The kind that carries me and reminds me that when I see another trying to make their way through the fire, I send them positivity and hope by telling them I see their struggle. I share that all they need to do at that moment in time is to hold on and feel. Because, when we hold uncomfortable feelings and live to tell the story, positivity and hope will always find a way to rise up and shine.

Questions/activities to ponder or good journal prompts!

  1. When hit with “monkey mind”, how do you manage to discern what you are feeling or handle the many feelings at once?
  2. Do you believe positivity is built from struggle? Why/why not?
  3. Have you ever tried to feel something you don’t? How did it go?
  4. What types of feelings creep up on you when you’re told to be positive and you can’t?
  5. Sometimes just holding on is all any human can do until the tough times pass. What was that like for you and did it teach you a lesson in positivity? Why/why not?
Have faith and swim.

Have faith and swim.

by kimberly gruber ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

The storm has arrived and I can’t bail fast enough to overtake the torrent of water filling the vessel containing my heart. As I work hard to stay afloat, I see an approaching tidal wave of water carrying the debris that I threw overboard the last time this happened. And then I remember. The water that rushes over me and takes me under, doesn’t keep me under forever. I’ve survived floods before. I do the best I can to stay clear of the current that carries the flotsam I’ve discarded many times before. I don’t want to get entangled in the debris that does nothing to help me stay afloat. I’ve worked hard to do those things that help me stay strong and keep my eyes focused on the shoreline. I fight to remember those practices that keep me seaworthy. They remind me that I can handle stormy weather and bolster my faith that it’ll be okay. Storms come and go with some bringing more flooding then others, but I eventually make it to shore like I’ve done many times before. So, I tread water and hold on knowing the water recedes and wait for the current of hope to take me ashore. Maybe this is how God teaches me to become a stronger, better swimmer.

I don’t particularly enjoy the lesson, but I do the best I can to tread water and paddle until it gets better. I accept the life preservers thrown my way by God and the team of angels here and above that encourage me to keep floating. The thing is, I am the only one that can hold on and choose to swim to a safer place. No one can move my body for me. I’ve got to dig deeply into my reserves and find a way. There are always things I can do or choices I can make as I struggle. I think, I pray and I problem solve, because making it to dry land requires that I rely on my own gifts, wit and what worked in previous swims ashore. At times I pause, float on my back and wait. I close my eyes and pull energy from the sky until I’m ready to swim again. I’m catching my breath, accepting, hanging on and remembering there is still so much life and fight in me as long as I’m floating face up. I may emerge walking onto the shore or allow the tide to roll me along and dump me on dry land. Either way, I have the opportunity to emerge a stronger, better swimmer, wiser and water-logged until I dry out and shed the weight of my experience. It’s how I move onward again and again. Sometimes, I creep out of the flood pissed off too. But until that passes, I hope I’ve learned something new about myself and accept the cycle of feelings that course through me as a light filled soul having a human experience.

Keeping my eyes on the beacons of light help illuminate my swim to safety and give strength to my tired limbs. I notice others treading water, floating or swimming too. Their struggle may be easier or harder than mine this time. I offer words of comfort, love and encouragement as best as I am able. I am a witness to their swim as they are to mine, noticing that this human migration from the flood of hard feelings to feelings easy to hold, is a reoccurring part of being alive. I can ask questions about their swim, knowing every human being has the potential to find their way and there’s always a meaningful story to tell about our individual journeys to a better place. I will never be able to swim for anyone else. We’d just get tangled up in the debris that we’re each trying to shed so both of us can swim forward and forge our own way. I hope to remember to look all my fellow shipwrecked swimmers in the eyes with compassion, understanding and mercy and send the message that we can hold on. I hope to exude that faith with every stroke I take and feel grateful for those around me who feed my hope when I’ve lost it among the barnacles sucking me dry. It’s only by faith that I’m reminded that when we all make it back to the shore again and again, that we’ll all have a beautiful and amazing story to tell. Keep swimming.

Questions/activities to ponder or good journal prompts!

  1. Think about the last time you recall “being flooded” with a feeling/s that pulled you under? What were those feelings and what circumstance lead to their occurrence?
  2. What practices and/or thoughts help remind you that the flood will recede? What practices and/or thoughts sink you further?
  3. Why is waiting so hard sometimes? What encourages your willingness to not rush a process?
  4. Have you ever endeavored to “solve” the problems of those around you? How did that go?
  5. Do you have faith in yourself, others or a higher power? Why or why not?
Safety.

Safety.

by kimberly gruber ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Making yourself smaller doesn’t necessarily make you safer. If you’re crouching in the woods hiding from danger, maybe rolling into a tight ball and burrowing might keep you unseen and safer. But if you’ve learned to make yourself “invisible” because you’ve done so in the past to seek safety, it’s time to rethink that strategy. Hiding may feel safe sometimes, but is it all the time? Your body may be safe crouched in that tight ball, but your mind is far from feeling safe. You can only experience what you invite or see in your confined space and that can make everything else unknown, intimidating or scary. You don’t know safety until you take a chance, unravel yourself out of that tight ball, and learn that you can do tough things and figure stuff out. It’s the only way to develop trust in yourself and others. You learn that for the most part, things work out pretty ok if you take a chance, because it’s happened to you or you’ve witness it with others. You’ve got to leave the safety of your confines to see that and know it’s true. That truth provides a very meaningful sense of safety, encourages you to step out into the world and leave your footprint proving you are here, ready to go and try. Maybe you’re motivated to leave your self-imposed confines because you’ve come to the realization that if you never step forward, you’ll always be in the same place and that place is starting to stink. That’s a good reason to step out and take a chance too.

You took a big chance, a big step when you were defenseless and reliant on your caregivers. You walked. You were fearless and you had faith that viewing the world from your feet instead of your knees would change everything. And it did. You pulled yourself up by holding onto someone or something and moved towards the cheers of those calling your name. Your gait had a Frankenstein-like quality but you kept your eyes on world from a new perspective and moved from the safety of your knees to your two tiny feet. You fell a lot and maybe even got hurt too. But if you’re walking now, it’s proof that you cried, pulled yourself up and walked again. You were the bravest walker ever. You focused on progressing from two steps to thousands, one day branching out and walking towards other babies as courageous as you. You didn’t stop walking because you feared you weren’t going to do it perfectly. You progressed step by awkward step eventually running, skipping and dancing towards a new space, a new experience and new people. Because of your willingness to step in a new direction, the whole walking thing brought about relationships and experiences that allowed you to trust in yourself and others. That feels safe, so you took more chances like jogging, playing basketball or riding a bike. Your progression never would have happened if you chose to stay in your comfort zone and on your knees. By taking your first step you connected with people, nature and the world. Healthy connections allow us to feel safe and remind us why we fight to remain standing.

If you never take the chance to experience something new and see that you can handle it, then everything is going to seem scary. It could go well or it could go not so well. When it doesn’t go well, you get the chance to make things right, chart another path or learn that it’s ok to accept help. You join the group of other brave souls that left the safety of their rooms, because they believed like you, that we all can find a deeper sense of safety when we experience life with each other. Alone in our own heads and space never gives us the opportunity to build the social callus we need to strengthen our resolve and take another chance on this world. We are not alone in our fear of taking the first step. Most people we encounter are good, doing the best they can and they mess up sometimes. The thing is, you’ll never feel comradery with that group if you stay inside your space or your own head believing that’s the only way to feel safe. You’ll never know what it feels like to be secure in your own abilities or feel the love and support of others who are working on feeling secure too.

The universe shivers when you say “Aw hell no!” to taking a chance or moving in a different direction because of fear. Fear didn’t stop you from walking when you were a baby. That’s why the universe shakes her head in confusion and patiently waits. Fear will have you believe it’s safer staying on your knees, because you’re less likely to get hurt or feel embarrassed. Maybe that’s true in some cases. But, if you never take a chance, you’ll never know love or witness how the universe will guide you if you’re open to all possibilities. The Divine and her universe will always wait in hopeful anticipation for your consent, since it’s the only way to catch her flow and get started in doing your life’s work. The Divine will give you the time and space you need to fall, to be held and get up again even when your reply is a scared, meek “Yes.” There’s a sense of protection, safety and security in knowing we can rise and figure stuff out when we hold hands with others and the Divine as we ride the current of the universe. That’s scary and safe at the same time, but much less scary then never trying at all.

Questions/activities to ponder or good journal prompts!

  1. Do you feel a sense of safety when you isolate? Why or why not?
  2. Think of an instance when you moved out of your comfort zone and took a chance. Why did you do so and what have you learned because you did?
  3. How would your life look if you focused more on your progress instead of perfection?
  4. What does it feel like or what are you reminded of when you speak to other folks who express fear in taking chances too?
  5. Do you believe the Divine and the universe provide you opportunity? Why/why not?

Move.

Move.

by kimberly gruber ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

We are called to move. Our bodies rely on movement to remain strong, creative and keep us one with the natural world and each other. When we move regularly, our body does all it can to get us on our feet again and again. The internal pharmacy housed within us dispenses feel good chemicals that try their best to leave a positive impression. “Team Feel Good” hopes we recall what it feels like after we move, so we stay active and engaged with our body on a regular basis. This squad of happy works for you and you alone. They’re your own personal trainers that encourage you to lace up your sneakers when you’d rather sleep an extra hour. “Team Feel Good” takes their job very seriously, because your body is counting on them. Their whole reason for being is to keep you moving so your life keeps moving. That’s why this team dances and high fives you for hours after you’ve done your part. Oh, and one of the best parts – “Team Feel Good” works for free and doesn’t care about the size of your thighs. Just that your thighs move.

Our bodies carry our history. It could be the story of what happened to us an hour ago or a trauma we experienced in childhood. Exercise will help you dislodge the shrapnel that was left behind and work it out of your body. To move from anxiety, sadness and fear, you need a physiological shift. The positive energy you create by moving creates a current that helps your body skim off some of the darkness it carries. With each repetitive step, cycle, stroke, push or pull, your body will move your brain and spirit to a better place. Your arms and legs become the right/left constant movement that encourages a calm, meditative state. Try to notice how your body will guide you to a more peaceful rhythm or release and just go with it. Allow your body to take care of you by cleansing you of all that has built up inside. Your body and “Team Feel Good” is trying super hard to take you to a place that is unlimited in possibility, solid and safe, so allow them to do their job. With each step and right/left pound of your foot to the ground, a syncopated pulse will shimmy out the toxic splinters left in your heart from the pain you carry. Now there’s room to give birth to creativity, problem-solve or to just feel. You will always be a better version of you because you moved. When you love your body by moving it, your body will always love you back.

My aunt was in a wheelchair the last few years of her life. Even so, she fought daily to not remain stagnant in body, mind and spirit. With the help of angels here on earth, she regularly lowered herself into a pool to find that state of release from physical and emotional pain. The buoyancy of the water helped her create movement that was less painful and allowed “Team Feel Good” to drop by and lift her battered spirit. With each physical, repetitive movement she could muster in the water, she created a portal that allowed the pain to leave and left space for light and clarity to enter. If she was moving, despite how limited, she was here. That’s what exercise does. It keeps us in the game by reminding us that we are alive and we are here when we move. One gentle kick in the water or one bicep curl can turn into twenty. It’s proof that our hard, consistent efforts as it pertains to anything, make us stronger. Muscles break down and we may get sore, but we heal and get up and do it again. This is how we get stronger.

Get up and out and take a walk. One step will turn into thousands if you see value in the amazing nature of your body and all it’s prepared to do for you if you let it. Every cell will thank you for choosing to take care of the magnificent and miraculous being of you. “Team Feel Good” is waiting at the door to support every part of you – body, mind and spirit. Move and follow the beat of your heart and breath so good stuff can move in and toxicity can move out. Lace up and move so you can complete this marathon called “Life” and actively engage in every step despite soreness, pain, joy and triumph. Reinforce through movement that your body is alive and kicking. Let it unleash its power inside you, so you can unleash the best part of you into this world and make space for more light too.

Questions/activities to ponder or good journal prompts!

  1. What keeps you from moving and tapping into you “internal pharmacy”? How might you remove these obstacles?
  2. How is your history carried in your body? When do you feel it most?
  3. Have you ever experienced a rhythm brought on by repetitive movement? If so, how did it affect your body?
  4. Movement reminds us that we are alive. What does prolonged sedentary behavior do to your body, mind and spirit?
  5. How would walks in nature or with a friend add to the benefits you garner from exercise? What other positive benefits may occur?

Your true voice.

Your true voice.

by kimberly gruber ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

It’s so easy to lose your inner voice, your true voice. It gets hidden away among all the chatter and sounds created by expectations and fears. It can be hard to find because the things that prevent us from hearing it need to be weeded through, moved aside or thrown away. Occasionally, our true voice pokes out of its space and tries to speak, but it’s hard to catch as it soars our way. Someone has tied our hands or else we’ve bound our own. We watch with sadness as our true voice rolls across the floor and falls below the cracks where we stand.

A good way to stay in touch with your true voice is to be its best friend. We spend our time and energy on things that matter to us because they feed our souls. A best friend carries your name in a locket and wears it proudly to keep you close and be reminded of the beauty of you. Your true voice will defend your honor, speak your truth and knows the way that’s best for you. Any voice you hear that tears you down is lying and is not your true voice. Your true voice whispers from the lips of your soul where it lives at the core of your being. To hear it, there needs to be pockets of silence or time away from all the voices that bury your own. Befriending your true voice requires that you unclutter the space so everyone can breathe and move. Your friend needs a clear runway to ride out of your soul on the wings of your spirit so it can land safely and meet with you. Clear a path by settling all the glitter that floats in your head and distracts you from finding each other. Foster the friendship you have with your true voice so you’ll be lifelong friends and always have each other’s backs.

Sometimes, your true voice arrives in the form of a bubble that floats out of your soul. Treat this delicate creature kindly. Nourish it by honoring and speaking to it with gentle coaxing and compassion. When in a space where it might be hard to unleash your true voice, speak supportive words to that bubble of voice and encourage it to be brave. If it’s well received – “Yay!” – if not, speak words of loving kindness to yourself for being true to you. Acts of self compassion keep us connected to our inner most being and remind us of our value. We shower love on those we deem important and worthy of attention. Self-compassion is tending to your own spirit. The practice of wrapping yourself in the love of your own kind words keeps the truest part of you alive and well. Who you are at your core is light, love and your unique purpose. When you treat that light tenderly with praiseworthy admiration, it’s much easier to hear what it has to say. Your true voice gets louder because you’re closer to it and farther away from the noise of others. Spend time alone with your true voice because you’re both worthy of genuine presence and loving attention.

The Divine creates wonderful things and you’re one of them. Be your best version of wonderful. Sometimes, your true voice will be misunderstood or go against the grain. That’s tough, but it’ll be ok. Just be ready and waiting with a healing ointment of kind words and affirming remarks about your amazing light and bravery. Rest and recover if you need to. Try to stay out of the ranks of imposters floundering to be something they’re not because they believe that’s where happiness resides or it’s a good way to avoid pain. We’ve all dabbled in those ranks and it’s an empty proposition. Just remember, your true voice will always encourage you to be you, since that’s in your best interest and the world’s best interest too. Give your time and energy to the building of you and listen. Go outside and let your true voice connect with the light of the Divine. Give it time to recharge with its source so the triangle of you, the Divine and your spirit remains unbroken. Make this your life’s pursuit and you’ll have many amazing moments of knowing what it’s like to be authentically you. Don’t forget to rip up the floorboards in search of the voice you lost earlier. It’ll still be there and waiting for you to give it a go.

Questions/activities to ponder or good journal prompts!

  1. What prevents you from using your true voice?
  2. What feelings surface in you when you fail to use your true voice and why?
  3. When do you hear your true voice? What regular practice would help you hear it more often?
  4. Acts of self compassion nourish the soul. Do you believe that? Why/why not?
  5. Does connecting with nature and/or the Divine help you find your true voice? Why/why not?

Rise and shine.

Rise and shine.

by kimberly gruber ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

The sun doesn’t race its way out into the sky every morning hell bent on being the first one awake. It’s a paced, steady, slow process. No matter how loudly we complain about the sun being hidden away by clouds, she breaks through into full majesty in her own way. If you watch her ascension closely enough, the sun’s colors change in and around her as she takes on the process of rising. That means there’s much going on inside and outside the sun’s being. She’s not affected by the inpatient and fast-paced wants of those who suggest she move quicker or take a different path. The sun would never alter her grand entrance and give up her “ta-da” moment for anyone. She knows that if the world just lets her be, she will gracefully emerge whole and bright with a power to shine gloriously on everything around her. If the frantic could just slow down and relax, then maybe she’d have an easier time shining brightly with dazzling colors illuminating from her own light. The sun needs to follow it’s own process because if not, life on this planet would be so different and not nearly as beautiful.

Take a tip from the sun and slow down. Some answers or next steps don’t come that quickly and require discernment and a look around. Letting the process of your life unfold in a steady manner may leave you feeling like an outlier. You may have been told that if you don’t have a concrete plan that keeps you powerwalking 24/7 or don’t require a post it note to remind yourself to pee, your life will be a mess. They’re wrong. Oh the sun has a plan. She just lays it out on her time using her methods and inner-knowing. She keeps it moving, trusts herself and the universe. She knows the clouds will eventually fade away or knows that she’ll find a way to put out more life-giving light to evaporate what hinders her from shining. The process of the sun rising is the sun’s business and no one else’s. She’s the best one for the job because she works everyday trying to get it right. The sun follows her own path and that keeps her grounded in the universe despite what’s orbiting around her. As she lives out her purpose in the sky, her dazzling light beams radiate all the energy inside her and she openly shares with those willing to bathe in her colors. The sun doesn’t let anyone stop her from her own revolution. She has the answers to what’s right for her deep inside her core every step of the way. It’s never a good idea to rush through the magical moments of a sunrise. You miss a lot of your journey if you’re only focusing on the ending all the time. You miss a lot of wonder and never glean the wisdom found in every step of your rising.

Figuring out what keeps you from finding your place in the universe is your job. Begin with stopping the voices in your head that tell you it’s not possible. The power of our own words affect the amount of light you put out into the world. Every time you practice self-compassion, you feed the light inside you which is always waiting to radiate. When you speak words of love to yourself, the authentic you has a much better chance of busting out because it’s being fed energy that’s pure and life-affirming. Words of kindness, compassion, understanding and love is rocket fuel for your heart and confidence. That energy helps you stand strongly in who you are and the choices you make. This is how you stay on course with your life’s path even when that road gets rocky and rough. That energy of love helps to drown out the voices and expectations placed on you by the world or the unrealistic ones we sometimes create ourselves. Words of self-compassion and love remind us that every step of this journey is important because this is how you learn, grow and shine brighter. Some steps hurt. But self-compassion manifested from your own soul, using your own voice keeps you rising and shining when you don’t get it from others. Live each moment like it matters understanding that your growth and wisdom add beautiful colors to each step of the journey. Own your light and its impact. Notice how the colors change as you rise, each presenting itself to the world with a uniqueness that is spectacular because it’s yours. Invest in your way of doing things with self-compassion to keep you grounded and moving at a reasonable pace. The world needs your light all the time despite how dimly it shines sometimes. Your light is a life-force and a necessity to this planet. Do your best to take care of it, listen to it, feed it what it needs, shine it brightly at your pace and rise. The sun is a star after all.

Questions/activities to ponder or good journal prompts!

  1. How have the expectations of others affected your ability to follow your own path?
  2. What can you learn from slowing down your pace? How might you begin to focus on each step of your journey?
  3. Do you feel you carry many of life’s answers deep inside your core? Why/why not? What keeps you from hearing their calling?
  4. Do you regularly practice self-compassion? Why/why not?
  5. What mindset or thoughts would you like to manifest which will propel you to shine?

A meaningful life.

A meaningful life.

by kimberly gruber ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

When you ask most people what they want out of life, many will say, “I just want to be happy.” I get that. It’s not that I don’t want more moments of happiness for me and the people I love. But to really excel at living and build a life of meaning, I need to pay homage to all aspects of this journey. If I’ve been given all I need to build something beautiful, then that must include all the feelings and experiences that are common to every human being. If I have them, then I need them whether I like it or not. Living means that joy, sorrow, pain and comfort share the same space and will always be a part of what it means to be alive. Joy carries me, sustains me and fills me when I’m empty or just adds to my heart reserves. The vault of happy moments I keep in my heart bolster my boldness when I’m hanging on by a thread and help me dig through. Staying present in those moments of positive flow gives birth to gratitude too and that’s a very good thing. When we’re happy our light shines brightly and the white, dancing beams can change the vibration in a room and allow us to connect in a meaningful way through our collective joy. It is an amazing gift.

But when I think about what’s taught me the most about myself, my strengths and what’s really important, it includes loss, challenge, pain and the will I muster to get back in the game. The tempered soul I bear and stories of its time in the fire glow with a different type of light. It’s a light that comes from the embers of my heart as I achingly wait for time to pass and pain to lessen. That light is a orange and red glow that burns hot and intensely for awhile eventually fading to grey. The pain glow may easily reignite when the wind picks up or when someone blows on it. I’m the one who has to figure out how to deal with that. Still, what I do know is the process of reheating and cooling has the potential to give birth to growth, empathy, compassion and an ability to create a meaningful connection even in my suffering. When I witness the deep glow of pain in you, I see it, smell it and feel it. It compels me to help you hold the hot coals as best as I am able until they slowly extinguish because I know about that burn. Joy is much more joyful when shared and pain is less painful when shared too. A life of meaning involves connection with others in all aspects of this life. When put into practice, the most important things will automatically rise to the top of the pile among all the clutter in my head and scream, “Pay attention because this stuff matters!” I want to work hard to stay on top of that pile no matter how difficult it may be sometimes because that’s where real life lives. I want to rest contently at the end of my days, survey the traces of what I’ve left behind and hope my time here made a difference to someone. Some of the stuff I’ve left behind isn’t pretty, but I will continue to do my best and forgive myself for the things I may have done better. I’ll just keep on trying to learn from all of my experiences and continue to stay in the light of connection whatever color it may be.

It’s up to me to build a life of meaning that is worthy of me. Every choice I make, whether easy or not, affects the portrait of my life. Sometimes it turns out great and sometimes it looks like a finger painting. It typically depends on my intention going in. Taking a magnifying glass to why I do what I do, helps me see if I’m fostering a positive flow and in alignment with my purpose or giving into the worst side of me. Is the fear of not being good enough driving or is the true me behind the wheel? Am I really listening and seeing what’s going on inside me and around me? Am I being curious about your life story or being judgmental? Am I comparing or contrasting my journey with yours or standing in appreciation that we both have a path equally worthy of being recognized for what it is? A life worthy of me begins with self-love and acceptance because it creates more love and more acceptance. Humans can’t give what they don’t have or speak a language they’ve never chosen to learn. I have to connect and take action for myself to ignite the light of love inside me, get to know it and figure out what to feed it so it thrives. I have to learn its language, listen to its wisdom and find value and acceptance in what I see. Investing in myself and fostering self-love in me and encouraging it in others adds depth and meaning to all of our stories. We were all born with the instinct to live, thrive and let the world know we are here and we need each other to do that. No one makes the world any better by making themselves smaller.

Loss of someone I love who I believe got it right, compels me to look to at how they lived. For sure they left numerous piles of love all around them hoping someone who needed it gathered it up. And because of that, they got a lot of love back too. Love begets more love and they knew it was worth the risk. They built lives that made a difference by spending a lot of time being present noticing people, nature and the world around them. They found appreciation and acceptance in every aspect of this life no matter how joyful or painful. They concerned themselves more with living life instead of posting it. The leavers-of-love smiled at strangers, helped out friends, served others, heard you, laughed a lot, cried and gave off the purpleish-pinkish light of contentment and peace. Like the colors that proceed a sunrise. They were just curious souls who didn’t want to miss a moment, an encounter or an opportunity to learn, love, connect and grow. And because of this practice, they became comfortable doing what makes us learners uncomfortable sometimes – they were true to who they were while living and loving courageously and whole-heartedly.

I suppose I’ll try my best to stop the worries, lists and tasks in my head long enough to keep me present in most of my own life and to truly be there for others. I can’t do it all the time but I’m working on it and I imagine the leavers-of-love had to work hard on this too. I am responsible for seeking out the healing and quiet I need to bring myself back to what builds a well-lived life – staying in the now. I’ll try to walk my life’s journey being curious, connected and of service while holding pain sometimes. I’ll try to leave this electrified world of chaos and noise to find myself in it, separate from it and invite others to this safer, more peaceful space. I’ll try to slow down and notice my breath more. I know that as I gather the simple beauty of what is always before me and collect it in my heart, the chatter in my head will quiet and feelings of contentment take up the empty space left behind. I’ll notice more joy and happiness because they’ll be room inside me to see it, feel it, touch it and taste it. I use the word meaningful and hard a lot as I examine lives well-lived and reflect on the best and worst parts of my journey. It’s because life is both of those things and if I’m building something wonderful on my own, it is rewarding and hard at the same time. I’ll keep on trying and not give up on the things that matter because the world thinks differently. The world doesn’t have all the answers, I do. No one or anything can create the life I want to live and the stuff I leave behind. It’s a solo endeavor. But when I’m doing it right, I never feel alone because I’m always connecting to other souls trying the best they can to build a life of meaning too.

Questions/activities to ponder or good journal prompts!

  1. Think of a time where you were present in your happiness. What did you learn about life in that moment?
  2. What lesson/s have you learned from your pain? Could you have learned it any other way? Why/why not?
  3. Have you ever had a moment when you knew what you were experiencing/doing really mattered? What was happening in that moment?
  4. What’s the most powerful lesson you’ve learned from someone you’ve lost and how did it change you?
  5. What changes can you make to stay more present and connect with others? How will these efforts help you build a life worthy of you?

What do you expect?

What do you expect?

by kimberly gruber ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Things may not always work out as you’ve planned. Maybe you carry formulas and steps around in your head and believe if you follow the suggested protocol your desired outcome will prevail. That mindset may work for some things like making chocolate chip cookies, but it doesn’t work when it comes to the story of your life. In fact, unexpected outcomes and events happen all the time. You may even find yourself in a space where you’re grateful you didn’t get the ending you originally wanted. Having expectations isn’t a problem unless you believe you can expect a certain outcome at every aspect of your journey. Angst, frustration and prolonged disappointment occur when we force our logic – abounding in “shoulds” – to be in constant battle with the universe and what is. When you let go of your original plan and amend it to work in harmony with what is, then you can expect beautiful things to happen. That means accepting where you are right now and reminding yourself that you are capable of digging in or digging out so you can flow with the present moment to that next place. That means trusting yourself and believing that eventually you’ll fall into a place where you’ll be given the opportunity to thrive in a new way – your way. Not the ways of others or the world’s way, your way.

So, what can you expect? For starters, you will not be on this earth forever. Does that expectation drive you to see your time in a different way? Drinking in the universal truth that our time is limited forces you to look at the things that hold you back from living the life you were intended to live. Dive into what those things are. You’ll most likely see those things are based in fear. Fear of not being good enough, fear of failure, fear of judgement or fear of change usually top the list. Imagine not having those fears. What would your life look like? How would you approach each day? There’s a good chance you’ll spend less time comparing and contrasting yourself to people on social media. There’s a good chance you’ll try new things, step out of your comfort zone, love more, stumble more and pick yourself up off the floor more too. There’s a good chance that every time you rise from the floor, you’ll remember you can rise and learn which direction to face and what to carry on this life journey. There’s a good chance you’ll face the light where there’s possibility, expansion and light beams showing you different paths. You’ll run from the land of “Whys and Shoulds” which is one dimensional, linear, self-defeating and lonely. There’s a good chance you’ll expect that the universe and the Divine will always be that hand on your back that holds you up or gently nudges you towards the light too. Have the expectation that life will be one of your most important teachers if you are willing to learn, let go of fear and take chances. In doing so, expect that you’ll spend more time in the present moment knowing those moments here are precious because they are finite. Upon clearing the fog of fear from your eyes, expect to see the world and all that’s possible in a new, more amazing way abounding in opportunity and grace.

Expect that there are universal truths that we cannot control. There will be struggle and unrest, but it’s possible to follow up those things with adaptation, growth and reinvention. When you think you can medicate, isolate, avoid or burrow forever in an attempt to bypass struggle, expect that true healing and being all you were meant to be will never occur. Surrendering to what is, which includes pain sometimes, will always be a part of this life because change is constant in this always moving universe. Just keep searching for the path of light no matter how battered or bruised you are. Maybe just stand there for a while until you muster the strength to move. Stay in your struggle and feel. Expect it to pass and notice what comes next moment to moment and what changes inside and outside of you. Tears fall from the sky because the clouds cannot contain all they’re holding and neither can we sometimes. But noticing what follows a storm and how you’ve weathered it, can change everything too. After a storm the world and you have a chance to grow, learn and adapt to what just happened. Reinvention may feel scary, but it can also be freeing, exciting and move you one step closer to revealing the real you. The world is always turning, moving and responding to what is and it does its best to adapt and reinvent. Expect that you have the ability to do the same.

Most people do the best they can to make the right decisions based on what they know. Often those decisions are good ones if they are flavored with the best parts of you which include: your dreams, your desires, your gifts, an intention to create good and what you know for sure. Stay in the here and now more often to keep you grounded in what is and plan from there. Trust yourself and all the wisdom you’ve acquired by rising. Know you are held by the universe and the Divine even when you can’t feel it all the time. Always remember life here has a beginning and an end. Let that expectation light a fire under your butt which involves letting go of fear and the mindset that struggle and hard work can be avoided. Expect to learn from the world around you about adaptation, reinvention and the value of being who you were meant to be. Face the light, catch beams of possibility, know you’re going to be ok and expect you are capable of amazing things.

Questions/activities to ponder or good journal prompts!

  1. Think of a time when an expectation you had did not happen. How did you initially react? How do you feel about that outcome now?
  2. What does it feel like to face the light? When looking at all that is possible, what feelings rise to the top and why?
  3. Does the thought of reinventing yourself sound exciting? Why/why not?
  4. When you’ve made decisions based on your desires, your gifts and what you know for sure, how have things worked out in the short term? In the long term?
  5. When has the acquisition of wisdom happened in your life? What event/s occurred that fostered your growth and why?